I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future..

My motto is "more mystery, less history"..

If you're conservative in Hollywood, you're on a list of people who need to be put in their place..

Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you're gay..

The truth is we're all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else's book. We never pick u….

Lets not focus on saving a nickel... lets focus on making a buck..

In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff. I liked cars and architecture, and thi….

If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?.

I'm not sexist, I'm just a realist..

No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear..

My first car was a motorcycle..

I don't think I've ever seen pie advertised. That's how you know it's good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts. They advertise the bejeeezus….

I am not a good cue card reader..

People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity..

Don’t do your best, do my best..

When you're doing a radio show, you can express yourself..

California is like the hot blond high school chick who's been getting by on her looks, but now she's 45 and falling apart..

The very definition of 'beauty' is outside..

When you're picking a basketball team, you'll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you're playing the odds..

You don't realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It's a card you get so you can navigate society..

Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes..