Occupation: Comedian Birth: May 27, 1964
Rich people don't pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes - they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn't pay taxes..
The shuttle is the worst $20 you'll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been. You have the unenviable choice betwe….
He doesn't sound like a guy who's done a onesome, let alone a threesome..
There's no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I'm a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christ….
The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing..
Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible..
When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that..
The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were..
I'm a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I'm into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars..
I'm really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down….
I'm harmless. I don't have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you're that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at yo….
I swear my car won't run unless I'm picking my nose: At least, I'm that superstitious about it, so I don't want to take any chances..
Honestly, I've always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed - that kind of stuff..
Maybe it's weird, but I don't feel in any way, shape or form that I'm taking over his show..
Screw guilt -- I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn't bother me. I'm an atheist!.
People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on..
I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more ….
I am not agnostic. I am atheist. I don’t think there is no God; I know there’s no God. I know there’s no God the same way I know many other laws in o….
I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future..
Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you..
I don't like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex..