Occupation: Comedian Birth: May 27, 1964
I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't like the television stuff as much..
I'd never hurt another person..
Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes..
I didn't have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age..
I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don't know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference o….
People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'.
I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating..
I liked radio, or podcasting. I like talking minus the camera and the script part. All those mediums are different, and they are all different with t….
I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none..
[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month..
If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know w….
When you do television, there's more to do, and when you do new television, there's a lot more to do, especially when you don't have partner. I miss ….
I'm a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy..
When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell..
I am semi-ambivalent about being on camera - sort of low-key. I don't like being on camera stuff that much. I like radio and live performing stuff. I….
It should be like a salmon taking to open water. I've done so much morning radio that I won't be overwhelmed by it, but it's still going to be a chal….
I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that's out of this world. I'll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it d….
Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor..
The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It's a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car..
Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do..
The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm j….