I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around..

I don't normally vote. I'm lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts..

When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!.

[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month..

Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do..

I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating..

I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none..

He doesn't sound like a guy who's done a onesome, let alone a threesome..

The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing..

I've never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I've never left behind..

I'm harmless. I don't have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you're that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at yo….

I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like withou….

You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself..

I don't like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it's the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywher….

I don't know anything about computers..

Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?.