Occupation: Comedian Birth: March 16, 1906 Death: February 24, 1998
Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport..
I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings!.
This man dresses like an unmade bed..
Two kangaroos were talking to each other, and one said, 'I hope it doesn't rain today. I hate it when the children play inside..
Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it..
Nurse: "Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office". Doctor: "Turn him around, make it l….
I don't fly on account of my religion. I'm a devout coward..
I don't mind when my horse is left at the post. I don't mind when my horse comes up to me in the stands and asks, "Which way do I go?" But when the h….
I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller..
Are you married? What do you do for agravation?.
A guy says, I'm so old that I forgot how old I am. An old woman says, I'll tell you how old you are. Take off your clothes and bend over. The man doe….
She's a big-hearted girl with hips to match..
Hollywood called me, asking me, "How much to do a movie with Farrah Fawcett?" "$50,000" They called back, "How about $20,000?" I said, "I'll pay it!".
A tough guy told me, "I'll bet you $10 you're dead." I was afraid to bet him..
Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket..
I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him..
The food on the plane was fit for a king. "Here, King!".
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late..
This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number..