I think that maybe if women and children were in charge we would get somewhere..

Somebody has said that woman's place is in the wrong. That's fine. What the wrong needs is a woman's presence and a woman's touch. She is far better ….

The Old Man ain’t afraid of hell.

We all know that the theater and every play that comes to Broadway have within themselves, like the human being, the seed of self-destruction and the….

The most dangerous food is wedding cake..

Speed is scarcely the noblest virtue of graphic composition, but it has its curious rewards. There is a sense of getting somewhere fast, which satisf….

Ours is a precarious language, as every writer knows, in which the merest shadow line often separates affirmation from negation, sense from nonsense,….

Youcanfooltoomanyofthepeopletoomuchofthetime. See Lincoln 510:35..

You might as well fall flat on your face as lean over too far backward..

Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest earliest natural resources, which must be preserved at all cost..

It did not take Man long-probably not more than a hundred centuries-to discover that all the animals except the dog were impossible around the house.….

I write humor the way a surgeon operates, because it is a livelihood, because I have a great urge to do it, because many interesting challenges are s….

I make mistakes, but I am on the side of Good," the Golux said, "by accident and happenchance. I had high hopes of being Evil when I was two, but in ….

I'm 65 and I guess that puts me in with the geriatrics. But if there were fifteen months in every year, I'd only be 48. That's the trouble with us. W….

Men are more interesting than women, but women ae more fascinating..

When all things are equal, translucence in writing is more effective than transparency, just as glow is more revealing than glare..

The laughter of man is more terrible than his tears, and takes more forms -hollow, heartless, mirthless, maniacal..

It had only one fault. It was kind of lousy..

American girls often marry someone they can't stand to spite someone they can..

Why do you have to be a nonconformist like everybody else?.

Authors of light pieces have, nobody knows why, a genius for getting into minor difficulties: they walk into the wrong apartments, they drink furnitu….