The first case of mad cow disease since 2006 was discovered right here in the United States. The good news, since the cow is in California, instead o….

President Bush is now focusing on jobs. I think the one job he's focusing most on is his own. The White House is now backtracking from its prediction….

Dean's wife, Judith Steinberg, made a rare appearance with Dean. She's a doctor, so I guess they brought her in to stop the hemorrhaging..

President Bush fell off his mountain bike down on his ranch in Texas. A couple weeks ago, John Kerry fell off his bicycle. See, doesn't this make you….

All I ask is that you tip your waiters and waitresses. We have to turn this situation around..

Oscar nominations came out today. Up for best actor, Sean Penn for 'Mystic River,' Jude Law for 'Cold Mountain,' and of course, George W. Bush for 'I….

Your preoccupation should be on doing what you do as well as you can..

According to geologists, about 100 million years from now, Asia and the Americas will smash together to form one giant supercontinent. The good news:….

Arnold Schwarzenegger made his tax returns public, [and] now there's a problem about him stretching the truth. Apparently under occupation he put dow….

One thing about mildly dyslexic people - they're good at setting everything else aside to pursue one goal..

Six women have come forward that say Arnold Schwarzenegger groped them without their consent. This proves he would be a hands-on governor..

President Obama said he is going to use the Gulf disaster to push a new energy bill through Congress. How about using the Gulf disaster to fix the Gu….

A new poll shows only 3 percent strongly approve of the job Congress is doing, with a margin of error of 4 percent, so it's possible that "less than ….

I understand the chairman of the Senate Ethics comittee is going to examine the check-bouncing scandal with a microscope. ...makes sense... If you're….

President Bush has unveiled his first campaign commercial, highlighting all of his accomplishes in office. That's why it's a 60-second spot..

Usain Bolt won the gold for the men's 100- and 200-meter dashes for the second Olympics in a row. You know, he has been running since he was in eleme….

A petition to have Justin Bieber deported got over 100,000 signatures, which means the White House now has to legally rule on it. So finally a chance….

Is it me or is President Bush's life starting to sound like a country song. He's from Texas, his dog just died, and it looks like he might lose his j….

One of the interpreters hired by CBS for the Dan Rather/Saddam Hussein interview adopted a phony Arabic accent. You know, maybe CBS should have hired….

According to a new study, Botox injections can help back pain. So you see, that's why John Kerry had all that Botox - his back was killing him from a….

I had a dog that was so lazy, he had a prerecorded bark..