The Three Branches of Government: Money, Television, and Bullshit.

It remains to be seen which program will cause greater societal damage: China's one-child policy or America's one-parent policy..

Hunter S. Thompson and I are old friends, but what we do is so different. There are surface similarities that really have to do with us being frustra….

The motorcycle is a device created by the team of God and Darwin to rid the world of useless young males..

Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and illiterate sport fishermen..

Popular culture has become engorged, broadening and thickening until it's the only culture anyone notices..

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertib….

The Arab peoples possess an ancient and highly developed civilization that is in many ways more sophisticated than our own. For instance, they invent….

There are twenty-seven specific complaints against the British Crown set forth in the Declaration of Independence. To modern ears they still sound re….

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are th….

I suppose I should get a VCR, but the only thing I like about television is its ephemerality..

I can think of a number of areas in New York where three acres of nuclear waste would make the neighborhood safer to walk around in than it is now, a….

The Russians could have some (warheads) aimed at Japan, so if we act up they can destroy our economy..

The purpose of the Senate is to keep 100 middle aged knuckleheads out of the private sector where they can do real harm..

It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government, and I'm here t….

Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy..

The only really good vegetable is Tabasco sauce. Put Tabasco sauce in everything. Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin. Th….

Sloths move at the speed of congressional debate but with greater deliberation and less noise..

Writing this book required an enormous amount of help from friends. To them goes the credit. I'll take the money..

Most of us had never seen a sober redneck before, and we have the Reagan Landslide to testify that none of us ever wants to see one again. It was a h….

Fashionably amusing table manners are a matter of breaking the right rule at the right time..