Carry an oar when you drive. Three times I've ended up in water..

Your husband is lazy if the directions on his medicine say, "A teaspoon before going to bed," and in one day he uses seven bottles..

Comedy is tragedy revisited or hostility. It is mock hostility, of course, or it would be ugly; we would have a war..

Your husband is lazy if coffee doesn't keep him awake - even when it's hot and being spilled on him..

The best contraceptive for old people is nudity..