If I lose show business - I'll really be an orphan!.

Lee Iacocca, who said to Dolly Parton, Why do you need an airbag? Never got a dinner!.

John Wilkes Booth, who said, Sorry, I thought he was a critic. Never got a dinner!.

Joseph Cotten, who said, You know how I got my name? Sammy Davis picked it for me. Never got a dinner!.

King Henry VIII, who said to his lawyer, Forget the alimony, I've got a better idea. Never got a dinner!.

Where else but in America can a poor black man like Michael Jackson grow up to be a rich white woman?.

Making you a pioneer only means one thing. You were around at the time..

J. Paul Getty, who still hasn't been buried - they keep finding oil! Never got a dinner!.

Queen Elizabeth, who said, Not now, I'm on the throne. Never got a dinner!.

Gandhi, who went to Wendy's and asked, "Where's the belief?" Never got a dinner!.

Abraham Lincoln, who said, A house divided... is a condominium. Never got a dinner!.

Dracula, who said while they drove a wooden stake into his heart, Boy, I sure hope this is heartburn. Never got a dinner!.

Moshe Dayan, who donated his eye to CBS. Never got a dinner!.

Amelia Earhart, who said, Stop looking for me; see if you can find my luggage! Never got a dinner!.

Moses, who said when the Red Sea parted, What the hell was that? I was just going in for a dip! Never got a dinner!.

Crispus Attucks, who said, Don't shoot till you see the whites! Never got a dinner!.

Moses, who said to the children of Israel, Wear your galoshes; I never did this trick before. Never got a dinner!.

Alexander the Great, who said on his wedding night, It's only a nickname. Never got a dinner!.

Aladdin, who said to his wife, I know it's not a lamp, keep rubbing! Never got a dinner!.

King Solomon, who said to his thousand wives, Who doesn't have a headache tonight? Never got a dinner!.

John Travolta, who said, My Saturday night fever was nothing compared to my Sunday morning rash. Never got a dinner!.