The Puerto Rican doctor, who wrote all his prescriptions with spray paint. Never got a dinner!.

Dr. Spock, who said, Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. Never got a dinner!.

Where else but in America can a poor black man like Michael Jackson grow up to be a rich white woman?.

Pliny the Elder, who when Rome was burning requested Nero to play You Picked a Fine Time to Leave Me, Lucille. Never got a dinner!.

Sleeping Beauty, who said to Prince Charming, Are you sure all we did was kiss? Never got a dinner!.

Queen Elizabeth, who said, Not now, I'm on the throne. Never got a dinner!.

Ray Charles, who said to Stevie Wonder, Maybe we're white. Never got a dinner!.

Sophia Loren, whose new baby asked her, Is all that for me? Never got a dinner!.

King Henry VIII, who said to his lawyer, Forget the alimony, I've got a better idea. Never got a dinner!.