Depression is the flaw in love. There's no such thing as love without the anticipation of loss. And that specter of despair can be the engine of intimacy.
Andrew SolomonRead
I don't accept subtractive models of love, only additive ones. And I believe that in the same way we need species diversity to ensure that the planet can go on, so we need this diversity of affection and diversity of family in order to strengthen the ecosphere of kindness.
Interpretation
What this quote means
Love should be viewed as something that adds to our lives rather than diminishes it, and diversity in relationships strengthens our capacity for kindness.
Andrew Solomon's quote emphasizes the importance of viewing love not as something that subtracts from our well-being but rather as an additive force that enriches our lives. He draws a parallel between the diversity necessary for ecological health and the diversity in our forms of affection and family structures, suggesting that such diversity is essential for cultivating an environment of kindness and support in society.
Themes
LoveDiversityKindnessRelationshipsAffection
In practice
Example use cases
During a speech on inclusivity and acceptance, this quote can highlight the richness of diverse relationships.
More from Andrew Solomon
All quotes →While people argue with one another about the specifics of Freud's work and blame him for the prejudices of his time, they overlook the fundamental truth of his writing, his grand humility: that we frequently do not know our own motivations in life and are prisoners to what we cannot understand. We can recognize only a small fragment of our own, and an even smaller fragment of anyone else's, impetus.
Andrew SolomonRead
I believe that words are strong, that they can overwhelm what we fear when fear seems more awful than life is good.
Andrew SolomonRead
Then I repeated these words to my spirits: 'Leave me be; give me peace; and let me do the work of my life. I will never forget you.' Something about that incantation was particularly appealing to me. 'I will never forget you'-- as though one had to address the pride of the spirits, as though one wanted them to feel good about being exorcised.
Andrew SolomonRead
Some people are trapped by the belief that love comes in finite quantities, and that our kind of love exhausts the supply upon which they need to draw. I do not accept competitive models of love, only additive ones.
Andrew SolomonRead
Antonin Artaud wrote on one of his drawings, "Never real and always true," and that is how depression feels. You know that it is not real, that you are someone else, and yet you know that it is absolutely true.
Andrew SolomonRead
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