Depression is the flaw in love. There's no such thing as love without the anticipation of loss. And that specter of despair can be the engine of intimacy.
Andrew SolomonRead
Some people are trapped by the belief that love comes in finite quantities, and that our kind of love exhausts the supply upon which they need to draw. I do not accept competitive models of love, only additive ones.
Interpretation
What this quote means
Love is abundant and can grow rather than be limited.
In this quote, Andrew Solomon emphasizes the notion that love should not be perceived as a limited resource. He challenges the competitive mindset of viewing love as something that diminishes when shared, advocating instead for an understanding of love as an additive force that can be expanded and multiplied through connections with others.
Themes
LoveAbundanceBeliefConnectionRelationships
In practice
Example use cases
In a wedding speech, one might say this quote to illustrate the depth and growth of love in a marriage.
More from Andrew Solomon
All quotes →I don't accept subtractive models of love, only additive ones. And I believe that in the same way we need species diversity to ensure that the planet can go on, so we need this diversity of affection and diversity of family in order to strengthen the ecosphere of kindness.
Andrew SolomonRead
While people argue with one another about the specifics of Freud's work and blame him for the prejudices of his time, they overlook the fundamental truth of his writing, his grand humility: that we frequently do not know our own motivations in life and are prisoners to what we cannot understand. We can recognize only a small fragment of our own, and an even smaller fragment of anyone else's, impetus.
Andrew SolomonRead
I believe that words are strong, that they can overwhelm what we fear when fear seems more awful than life is good.
Andrew SolomonRead
Then I repeated these words to my spirits: 'Leave me be; give me peace; and let me do the work of my life. I will never forget you.' Something about that incantation was particularly appealing to me. 'I will never forget you'-- as though one had to address the pride of the spirits, as though one wanted them to feel good about being exorcised.
Andrew SolomonRead
Antonin Artaud wrote on one of his drawings, "Never real and always true," and that is how depression feels. You know that it is not real, that you are someone else, and yet you know that it is absolutely true.
Andrew SolomonRead
Similar quotes
I want you to try and remember what it was like to have been very young. And particularly the days when you were first in love; when you were like a person sleepwalking, and you didn’t quite see the street you were in, and didn’t quite hear everything that was said to you. You’re just a little bit crazy. Will you remember that, please?
Thornton WilderRead
Because I liked you better Than suits a man to say, It irked you, and I promised I'd throw the thought away. To put the world between us We parted stiff and dry: 'Farewell,' said you, 'forget me.' 'Fare well, I will,' said I. If e'er, where clover whitens The dead man's knoll, you pass, And no tall flower to meet you Starts in the trefoiled grass, Halt by the headstone shading The heart you have not stirred, And say the lad that loved you Was one that kept his word.
A. E. HousmanRead
He does not refuse sustenance to the one who speaks ill of Him. How then could He refuse sustenance to the one whose soul is over flowing with love for Him?
Rabia BasriRead
God is love, generosity and forgiveness; if we believe in this, we will never allow our weaknesses to paralyse us.
Paulo CoelhoRead
But sweetly and discreetly love passes from person to person, from heart to heart, or it is nothing worth.
Marie De FranceRead
Be the living expression of God's kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.
Mother TeresaRead