The only possible recourse a baby has when his screams are ignored is to repress his distress, which is tantamount to mutilating his soul, for the result is an interference with his ability to feel, to be aware, and to remember.
Alice MillerRead
It is very difficult for people to believe the simple fact that every persecutor was once a victim. Yet it should be very obvious that someone who was allowed to feel free and strong from childhood does not have the need to humiliate another person.
Interpretation
The quote highlights the cycle of victimization and how past experiences influence behavior.
Alice Miller's quote emphasizes that the roots of harmful behavior, such as persecution, often lie in past victimization. It suggests that those who have experienced freedom and strength in their formative years are less likely to oppress others, pointing to the importance of understanding and compassion towards all individuals, especially those who may have caused harm due to their own suffering.
In practice
In an educational workshop about bullying, this quote can be used to illustrate the importance of empathy.
The only possible recourse a baby has when his screams are ignored is to repress his distress, which is tantamount to mutilating his soul, for the result is an interference with his ability to feel, to be aware, and to remember.
The truth about childhood, as many of us have had to endure it, is inconceivable, scandalous, painful. Not uncommonly, it is monstrous. Invariably, it is repressed. To be confronted with this truth all at once and to try to integrate it into our consciousness, however ardently we may wish it, is clearly impossible.
We don't yet know, above all, what the world might be like if children were to grow up without being subjected to humiliation, if parents would respect them and take them seriously as people.
I have never known a patient to portray his parents more negatively than he actually experienced them in childhood but always more positively--because idealization of his parents was essential for his survival.
It is not true that evil, destructiveness , and perversion inevitably form part of human existence, no matter how often this is maintained. But it is true that we are daily producing more evil and, with it, an ocean of suffering for millions that is absolutely avoidable. When one day the ignorance arising from childhood repression is eliminated and humanity has awakened, an end can be put to this production of evil.
Genuine forgiveness does not deny anger but faces it head-on.
Pain is important: how we evade it, how we succumb to it, how we deal with it, how we transcend it.
Aspire not to have more, but to be more.
Fear of ideas makes us impotent and ineffective.
I have enjoyed greatly the second blooming that comes when you finish the life of the emotions and of personal relations; and suddenly find - at the age of fifty, say - that a whole new life has opened before you, filled with things you can think about, study, or read about...It is as if a fresh sap of ideas and thoughts was rising in you.
Don't expect your genius to be discovered; do what you must do because it gives you joy. Don't expect your love to be accepted. Love because it justifies your life.
The best investment you can make, is an investment in yourself... The more you learn, the more you'll earn.
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