Everybody, to some extent, manipulates. Even children learn to cry when they want something. There are all kinds of subtle things we do to get others to follow our lead, not bother us, and so on.
Interpretation
Manipulation is a natural behavior that everyone engages in, consciously or unconsciously.
This quote emphasizes that manipulation is an inherent part of human interaction, not just a negative trait. From an early age, individuals learn to influence others through various subtle behaviors, whether to fulfill their own needs or to navigate social dynamics. Greene suggests that understanding this aspect of human nature can lead to greater awareness in social situations.
In practice
In a psychology class discussing social influence, this quote illustrates how manipulation is a part of human behavior.
In a society where the roles everyone plays are obvious, the refusal to conform to any standard will excite interest. Be both masculine and feminine, impudent and charming, subtle and outrageous. Let other people worry about being socially acceptable; those types are a dime a dozen, and you are after a power greater than they can imagine.
When you are trying to impress people with words, the more you say, the more common you appear, and the less in control. Even if you are saying something banal, it will seem original if you make it vague, open-ended, and sphinxlike.
The moment people feel they know what to expect from you, your spell on them is broken. More: You have ceded them power.
The future belongs to those who learn more skills and combine them in creative ways.
The Nihilistic Troll might pretend to be acting in the service of some cause or leader, but don't be fooled. The cause and their supposedly strong convictions are simply a way to justify and provide cover for their abusive behavior.
Only create associations with positive affinities. Make this a rule of life and you will benefit more than from all the therapy in the world.
We know that the great majority of people have a strong need for authority which it can admire, to which it can submit, and which dominates and sometimes even ill-treats it.
The abused child goes on living within those who have survived such torture, a torture that ended with total repression. They live with the darkness of fear, oppression, and threats. When all its attempts to move the adult to heed its story have failed, it resorts to the language of symptoms to make itself heard. Enter addiction, psychosis, criminality.
I believe that the therapist's function should be to help people become free to be aware of and to experience their possibilities.
We teach people that they upset themselves. We can't change the past, so we change how people are thinking, feeling and behaving today.
People don't just get upset. They contribute to their upsetness.
Crazy people made him crazy. It was as if he personally resented them giving into madness - in part, because he so frequently labored to behave sanely. When some people gave up the labor of sanity, or failed at it, Garp suspected them of not trying hard enough.
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