Our goal should be to develop work-life policies that enable people to put their gender values into practice. So let's stop arguing about the hard choices women make and help more women and men avoid such hard choices.
It no longer makes sense to see singlehood and marriage as two distinct and stable social categories that should be accorded different legal rights and social esteem.
Interpretation
What this quote means
The quote suggests that viewing singlehood and marriage as entirely separate social categories is outdated and unjust.
Stephanie Coontz's quote challenges the traditional classifications of singlehood and marriage, arguing that these social statuses should not have fundamentally different legal rights or societal values. She emphasizes the need to reevaluate how we perceive relationships, advocating for a more inclusive understanding that recognizes the complexities and variations of contemporary partnerships. By doing so, Coontz calls for a society that values individual choices and experiences equally, regardless of marital status.
Themes
In practice
Example use cases
In a discussion about changing marriage laws to include more diverse relationships.
More from Stephanie Coontz
All quotes →Economically as well as emotionally, modern marriage has become like an affluent gated community. It has become harder for low-income Americans to enter and sustain.
In my work as a historian and in my relationships as a friend, teacher, wife, and mother, I have come to think that the most useful way to understand the past and make it work for you is to look at the trade-offs and contradictions that, however deeply buried, can be uncovered in every memory, good or bad.
Labeling people single parents, for example, when they may in fact be co-parenting - either with an unmarried other parent in the home or with an ex-spouse in a joint custody situation - stigmatizes their children as the products of 'single parenthood' and makes the uncounted parent invisible to society.
We must recognize that there are healthy as well as unhealthy ways to be single or to be divorced, just as there are healthy and unhealthy ways to be married.
As soon as love became the driving force behind marriage, people began to demand the right to remain single if they had not found love or to divorce if they fell out of love.
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