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When you expect to get into a negotiation, you expect to be faced by a guy that's going to attack you, a guy or gal that's going to attack or that they're going to try to get the best of you. Two-thirds of us, that makes us very defensive.
Christopher Voss
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Interpretation

What this quote means

Negotiation often creates defensive attitudes due to the perceived threat from the other party.

In this quote, Christopher Voss emphasizes that entering negotiations often leads individuals to adopt a defensive posture because they anticipate aggressive tactics from the opposing party. This natural reaction can hinder effective communication and collaboration, suggesting that understanding the dynamics of negotiation is crucial for achieving positive outcomes.

Themes

NegotiationDefensiveCommunicationConflictTactics

In practice

Example use cases

Using this quote in a workshop on negotiation skills can highlight the psychological barriers that participants face.

More from Christopher Voss

Price doesn't make deals, and salary doesn't control your career.
Christopher VossRead
There are three kinds of yeses. There's commitment, confirmation, and counterfeit. People are most used to giving the counterfeit yes because they've been trapped by the confirmation yes so many times. So the way you master no is understanding what really happens when somebody says 'no.' When yes is commitment, no is protection.
Christopher VossRead
The sweetest two words in any negotiation are actually, 'That's right.' Before you convince them to see what you're trying to accomplish, you have to say the things to them that will get them to say, 'That's right.'
Christopher VossRead
The secret to gaining the upper hand in a negotiation is to give the other side the illusion of control. Don't try to force your opponent to admit that you are right. Ask questions, that begin with 'How?' or 'What?' so your opponent uses mental energy to figure out the answer.
Christopher VossRead
Very few negotiations are begun and concluded in the same sitting. It's really rare. In fact, If you sit down and actually complete your negotiation in one sitting, you left stuff on the table.
Christopher VossRead
The most dangerous negotiation is the one you don't know you're in.
Christopher VossRead

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