Shame is the most powerful, master emotion. It's the fear that we're not good enough.
Brene BrownRead
Normally, when someone we love is turning away from a struggle, we self-protect by also turning away. That's definitely my first response. I think change is more likely to happen if both partners have common language and a shared lens to see problems.
Interpretation
What this quote means
Mutual support and understanding in relationships can lead to positive change during struggles.
Brene Brown emphasizes the importance of connection and empathy in relationships, especially when faced with challenges. When one partner withdraws from difficult situations, the other might instinctively do the same out of self-protection. However, she argues that fostering a common understanding and shared perspectives can create an environment where both partners feel safe to confront issues together, ultimately facilitating meaningful change.
Themes
RelationshipsEmpathySupportChangeUnderstanding
In practice
Example use cases
In a couples' therapy session, this quote could be used to illustrate the importance of mutual support.
More from Brene Brown
All quotes →I think our capacity for wholeheartedness can never be greater than our willingness to be broken-hearted. It means engaging with the world from a place of vulnerability and worthiness.
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Men walk this tightrope where any sign of weakness illicits shame, and so they're afraid to make themselves vulnerable for fear of looking weak.
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I hesitate to use a pathologizing label, but underneath the so-called narcissistic personality is definitely shame and the paralyzing fear of being ordinary.
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I'm not a parenting expert. In fact, I'm not sure that I even believe in the idea of 'parenting experts.' I'm an engaged, imperfect parent and a passionate researcher. I'm an experienced mapmaker and a stumbling traveler. Like many of you, parenting is by far my boldest and most daring adventure.
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I've learned that men and women who are living wholehearted lives really allow themselves to soften into joy and happiness. They allow themselves to experience it.
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