The very ingredients that nurture love - mutuality, reciprocity, protection, worry, responsibility for the other - are sometimes the very ingredients that stifle desire.
Esther PerelRead
What is the relationship between love and desire? How do they relate, and how do they conflict? ... Therein lies the mystery of eroticism.
Interpretation
What this quote means
The quote explores the complex interplay between love and desire, highlighting their connection and potential conflicts.
Esther Perelβs quote delves into the intricate relationship between love and desire, suggesting that while they are intertwined, they can also create tension and conflict within relationships. By describing this relationship as a mystery, she invites reflection on how eroticism is shaped by both feelings, emphasizing that understanding this dynamic is crucial for fostering intimacy and connection.
Themes
LoveDesireEroticismRelationshipsIntimacy
In practice
Example use cases
During a relationship workshop to discuss the balance of love and desire.
More from Esther Perel
All quotes βLove is a vessel that contains both security and adventure, and commitment offers one of the great luxuries of life: time. Marriage is not the end of romance, it is the beginning.
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If you start to feel that you have given up too many parts of yourself to be with your partner, then one day you will end up looking for another person in order to reconnect with those lost parts.
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Eroticism thrives in the space between the self and the other.
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Most of us will get turned on at night by the very same things that we will demonstrate against during the day - the erotic mind is not very politically correct.
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It isnβt so much that we want to leave the person we are with as we want to leave the person we have become.
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