The very ingredients that nurture love - mutuality, reciprocity, protection, worry, responsibility for the other - are sometimes the very ingredients that stifle desire.
Esther PerelRead
Most of us will get turned on at night by the very same things that we will demonstrate against during the day - the erotic mind is not very politically correct.
Interpretation
What this quote means
The quote highlights the conflicting nature of human desires and societal norms.
Esther Perel's quote reflects the complexity of human sexuality and attraction, suggesting that while people may publicly conform to certain societal expectations or ethical stances during the day, their desires can often contradict those sentiments when they are in private. This dichotomy emphasizes the erotic mind's tendency to transcend political correctness, illustrating the innate conflicts between our inner impulses and external societal norms.
Themes
DesireSexualityConflictPolitical CorrectnessErotic Mind
In practice
Example use cases
Using this quote in a relationship workshop to discuss the nuances of desire.
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If you start to feel that you have given up too many parts of yourself to be with your partner, then one day you will end up looking for another person in order to reconnect with those lost parts.
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What is the relationship between love and desire? How do they relate, and how do they conflict? ... Therein lies the mystery of eroticism.
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Eroticism thrives in the space between the self and the other.
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It isn’t so much that we want to leave the person we are with as we want to leave the person we have become.
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