Don't we forgive everything of a lover? We forgive selfishness, desire, guile. As long as we are the motive for it...There are some European words you can never translate properly into another language.
Women want everything of a lover. And too often I would sink below the surface. So armies disappear under sand. And there was her fear of her husband, her belief in her honour, my old desire for self-sufficiency, my disappearances, her suspicions of me, my disbelief that she loved me. The paranoia and claustrophobia of hidden love.
Interpretation
What this quote means
The quote reflects the complexity and fears present in intimate relationships, highlighting desires, doubts, and the struggles of love.
In this quote, Michael Ondaatje explores the tumultuous emotions that arise in romantic relationships, particularly the fears and insecurities related to love and trust. The imagery of armies disappearing under sand symbolizes the feelings of disappearing or being overwhelmed under pressures of love, while also touching on themes of suspicion, self-sufficiency, and the inner conflicts that partners may experience when navigating their feelings for one another. This reflection on the paradoxes of love underscores the weight of expectations and the crumbling foundations that often accompany the pursuit of deep connections.
Themes
In practice
Example use cases
Sharing this quote in a discussion about the intricacies of love in a relationship class.
More from Michael Ondaatje
All quotes →When we are young we do not look into mirrors. It is when we are old, concerned with our name, our legend, what our lives will mean to the future. We become vain with the names we own, our claims to have been the first eyes, the strongest army, the cleverest merchant. It is when he is old that Narcissus wants a graven image of himself.
Water is the exile, carried back in cans and flasks, the ghost between your hands and your mouth.
You must talk to me, Caravaggio. Or am I just a book? Something to be read, some creature to be tempted out of a loch and shot full of morphine, full of corridors, lies, loose vegetation, pockets of stones.
You don't want to write your own opinion, you don't want to just represent yourself, but represent yourself through someone else.
A man in a desert can hold absence in his cupped hands, knowing it is something that feeds him more than water.
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It is a great misfortune to be alone, my friends; and it must be believed that solitude can quickly destroy reason.
All of us have people in our lives who drive us crazy. We've spent hours reliving the unfair, unappreciative, inconsiderate treatment they have inflicted on us. But getting mad at this person makes just about as much sense as getting mad at a chair for being a chair.
There are people who can walk away from you... let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you... Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person, it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over.
I am confident that nobody... will accuse me of selfishness if I ask to spend time, while I am still in good health, with my family, my friends and also with myself.
Is not marriage an open question, when it is alleged, from the beginning of the world, that such as are in the institution wish to get out, and such as are out wish to get in?
If thou art willing to suffer no adversity, how wilt thou be the friend of Christ?