Comedians, we're just people who whine. But we happen to be funny when we whine..

I'm against reparations. At this point, blacks should just be handing money to themselves..

You work with what you got..

The more sure you are, the more wrong you can be..

The wisdom coming from above, the faith that sweetly works by love..

I prefer nothing, unless it is true..

It remained an open question, how much sympathy love could stand..

Look at what you could have won!.

I've always been a tech-head..

Most of us have more potential than we will ever develop. What holds us back is often a lack of courage..

When you do late-night TV, you do different jokes in the same place every night. When you're on the road as a comedian, you do the same jokes in a di….

Protecting yourself from failure is probably not a good way to live..

What doesn't kill us makes us funnier..

What comes will also go. What always is will alone remain..

It is unimaginable that the United States would have to contribute hundreds of billions of dollars and highly unlikely that we would have to contribu….

There's much too much mismating in the Microsofted phrasery of our day. And I like sentences that are societies unto themselves and shun any need for….

History is absolutely my thing..

I was with a famous comedian when a young fan walked up and asked for an autograph. The comedian blew him off. I'll never forget the look on the youn….

You can learn a lot of things from being in movies..

You adapt yourself to the contents of the paintbox..

There is no happiness without patriotism..