I don't consider myself a stand-up comedian. I consider myself a performer; a comic as opposed to stand-up comedian. Stand-up comedians stand there a….

I'm a comedian, not a politician..

Being a TV comedian, actor, writer, columnist, and all that is quite helpful to me in acquiring wide varieties of knowledge, which is crucial for fil….

God allows in His wisdom what He could easily prevent by His power..

I would never condone anything which I thought was salacious, titillating, or gratuitous..

Nerd. One whose unbridled passion for something defines who they are as a person, without fear of other people's judgment..

It's amazing how life conspires to set you up with what you need..

I love to dance.I've been told I'm actually really good..

All you will get from me is death..

I like to expand myself as far as watching movies..

It was Nate Monaster who encouraged me to be a writer..

I don't listen to weakies..

Can we all just stop being dicks?!.

Bill Cosby was the first comedian I was exposed to, because he doesn't curse..

French are what they are without excusing themselves to be..

Experience is of particulars only..

When did you trust someone to hold a truth as carefully as you did?.

Jason [Sudeikis] is a successful actor and comedian, I don't think that he takes comedic roles any less seriously than he does dramatic roles..

I've always craved to belong to somewhere, but I never have and never will..

I will count to 10 before tweeting..

A comedian's a comedian. They're a very kind of cynical bunch. I guess that's why I like them..