Quotes on Funny Inspirational

Just because something doesn't do what you planned it to do doesn't mean it's useless.

There has been much tragedy in my life; at least half of it actually happened.

A man always blames the woman who fools him. In the same way he blames the door he walks into in the dark.

Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.

Everyone has an invisible sign hanging from their neck saying, 'Make me feel important.' Never forget this message when working with people.

I've been on a calendar, but I've never been on time.

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

The successful man will profit from his mistakes and try again in a different way.

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

In this business, by the time you realize you're in trouble, it's too late to save yourself. Unless you're running scared all the time, you're gone.

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.

You have to really believe not only in yourself; you have to believe that the world is actually worth your sacrifices.

We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.

A person's a person, no matter how small.

For fast-acting relief try slowing down.

The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.

I will not retire while I've still got my legs and my make-up box.

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

Keep the other person's well being in mind when you feel an attack of soul-purging truth coming on.

The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.

The basis of optimism is sheer terror.