The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for..

Give the haters another reason to hate!!.

Mirrors should reflect a little before throwing back images..

I am about to - or I am going to - die; either expression is correct..

The books that everybody admires are those that nobody reads..

Books are no more threatened by Kindle than stairs by elevators..

I think I'm the most underrated superstar that's out there, but that doesn't matter to me..

Are you trying to tell all of us we have a bad signal-to-noise ratio?.

I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours..

I went to the worst of bars hoping to get killed but all I could do was to get drunk again..

The cool thing about being famous is traveling. I have always wanted to travel across seas, like to Canada and stuff..

I drove myself to the Emergency Room. That's a nice relaxing drive. "Noooo, after you. Merge-everybody merge.".

I saw this sign posted once, it said, "Blasting Zone Ahead." Wow. Shouldn't that read: "Road Closed?" What do you mean there's a blasting zone? What ….

Racquetball is the only sport where simultaneously you can be looking at the ball and it'll hit you in the back of the head at 90 miles per hour..

The funniest thing is when somebody says "Look I've no idea who you are but my friend said you are on a show and I just wanted to introduce myself" y….

It’s good to be here. I’m just trying to go through life without looking stupid. It’s not working out too well..

I thought I should go to New York because it was the place to go to study. I went and tried to get an application from the Juilliard School but they ….

The prettiest dresses are worn to be taken off..

Where the hell is Australia anyway?.

I saw something in the store the other day that I don't understand: that peanut butter and jelly in the same jar. Is there a point to that? I mean, I….

This City is what it is because our citizens are what they are..