A boo is a lot louder than a cheer..
English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England..
A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it..
Anybody who doesn't make you feel good, kick them to the curb. And the earlier you start in your life, the better..
I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed Dolly Parton was my mother and I was a bottle baby..
If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important Rule of Beauty. “Who cares?”.
The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one..
It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner..
I didn't have a big fat Greek wedding, but I have a lot of fat Greek friends..
My life is an open book. With illustrations..
The prettiest dresses are worn to be taken off..
good girls go to heaven and bad girls go everywhere.
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there..
Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other..
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do..
The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets..
I do not believe in using women in combat, because females are too fierce..
Anybody can win - unless there happens to be a second entry..
I went out with a promiscuous impressionist. She did everybody..
Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?.
Confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can have. It's much sexier than any body part..