The difference when you have kids comes up when someone wants to meet you out after 9:30 at night. You consider that giant sacrifice. You're like, "D….

God gave me some weird, beautiful scent that makes men and women go crazy. People compare it to Carvel. It is a whale of a smell..

I shouldn't be near Vegas and have money in my pocket..

I was a coin collector.I didn't know I was nerdy at the time until I felt my 16-D Mercury Dime that was in uncirculated condition might be a panty dr….

I'm getting older, and it happens. You don't care as much. I don't care about too much anymore. I've got to think about that a little bit..

This character feels so much like my brother. He has two children. He has a wife. He works with me. He chooses to stay in New Hampshire because he wa….

It's hard to soar with the eagles when you're surrounded by turkeys..

Sitting in a room being forced to listen to 'The Chanukah Song' over and over." [on his idea of Hell].

With the amount of money I have, it's difficult raising children the way I was raised..

I don't know what drives me to succeed. I know I want to always do the best I can.I guess I was maybe in little league baseball as far as I wanted to….

My name is Adam Sandler. I'm not particularly talented. I'm not particularly good-looking. And yet I'm a multi-millionaire..

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink, put you to bed when youve had too much to drink. Oh, it could be so nice to grow old with you, I wanna g….

I had my moments of being humiliated, and then I had moments of doing something humiliating. I'm glad I lived out both roles..

I've always had lots of friends and my house was the house they all hung out at..

My comedy is different every time I do it. I don't know what the hell I'm doing..

We just bought this house. It's too big. It's like 400,000 square feet, or something. We got an indoor lake and ski slope in the house! It's just too….

Having a kid is great... as long as his eyes are closed and he's not moving or speaking..

When I was younger and did a stand-up gig, it would take me two weeks to recover. Sometimes I'd get so panicked that I would stutter..

My father used to wear the same pants for like a week..

Wasted is when you have a hankering for ice cream..

The toughest part is that when your kid's upset, you're upset. You're rocked until they're not upset. Even when they're not upset, you're like, "I ho….