The high point of the act is when he (Uri Durov) puts his head inside the bear's huge jaws. I wouldn't even try that with my agent..

English clubs are very exclusive. I played Royal Foxshire and they made me wear a suit and tie. . . in the shower..

The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time..

Everybody is afraid they won't have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and ….

As soon as the war ended, we located the one spot on earth that hadn't been touched by the war and blew it to hell..

With today's movies, if we took out all the bad language, we'd go back to silent films..

I've never wanted an Oscar, although they are reassuring to an actor who doesn't know how really great he is..

Free speech isn't dead in Germany and Italy, merely the speakers..

Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?.

I can still chase women, only downhill.

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water..

Somebody should tell Jerry Falwell that God is an Independent . . . he's not rich enough to be a Republican..

It's very frustrating making a picture in Paris. We work hard all day at the studio to get a love scene just right. Then, on my way home, I see coupl….

We had a very successful trip to Russia. We made it back..

The last time I played golf with President Ford he hit a birdie. And an eagle, a moose, an elk, an aardvark....

Seventy years of ad-lib material, and I am speechless..

I once showed Pat Bradley my swing and said, 'What do I do next?' Pat replied, 'Wait till the pain dies down.'.

Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn't hear them..

Congress may be going home for the holidays soon. How can you beat a Christmas gift like that?.

I left England when I was four because I found out I could never be King..

The only time to believe any kind of rating is when it shows you at the top..