America is a country where the Olympics and the divorce lawyers both have the same slogan - Go for the Gold..

Golf's really fun in Japan because of the women caddies. ... I saw one guy start out playing alone with his caddie. By the 9th hole they were engaged….

Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds,….

It's amazing how many people you see on TV. I did my first television show a month ago, and the next day five million television sets were sold. The ….

I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there..

I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie..

Celebrities have a way of touching our lives. Perhaps we are influenced by their screen image, or perhaps by their acquired status. Here are some cel….

Out here in the Pacific, they have typhoons and hurricanes that blow over 200 miles an hour. We have tornadoes and hurricanes back home, but I don't ….

I can't give up Golf, I've got too many sweaters..

The help (in Japan) is very polite. They bow so much, you don't know which end to talk to..

I don't know what people have against Jimmy Carter. He's done nothing..

I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people..

I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money..

I'm from Los Angeles... I don't trust any air I can't see..

It was a typically British birth... I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward... I came out in sympathy..

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake..

I like to come to Washington, D.C., at least once a year. Why should my tax money travel more than I do?.

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother..

I have this terrific make-up man. But he's expensive. I have to bring him in from Lourdes..

Please don't stand up on my account..

You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra, I come around to your house perso….