George Burns

My best advice: Fall in love with what you do for a living.

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.

You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.

I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked.

Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left

I get up every morning and read the obituary column. If my name's not there, I eat breakfast.

I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.

Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.

If I paid ten dollars for a cigar, first I'd make love to it, then I'd smoke it.

I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.

Everyday happiness means you can't wait to come home, because the soup is hot.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.

When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it's time to turn out the lights.

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

You've got to be honest; if you can fake that, you've got it made.

It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.

Age to me means nothing. I can't get old; I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.