Lots of fellows think a home is only good to borrow money on..

The longer it takes you to select a cantaloupe, the worse it is!.

The worst waste of breath, next to playing a saxophone, is advising a son.

Look out for the people who allow you to do all the talking..

Everything comes to him who waits, except a loaned book..

Making a long stay short is a great aid to popularity..

There is plenty of peace in any home where the family doesn't make the mistake of trying to get together..

I will say this for adversity: people seem to be able to stand it, and that is more than I can say for prosperity..

Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn't have as many monuments to unveil..

Don't a fellow feel good after he gets out of a store where he nearly bought something..

A fellow ought to save a few of the long evenings he spends with his girl till after they're married..

If the government was as afraid of disturbing the consumer as it is of disturbing business, this would be some democracy..

Some people are so sensitive that they feel snubbed if an epidemic overlooks them..

Ther's still a few honest folks left but they never seem t' find anything you lose..

Some folks pay a compliment like they went down in their pocket for it..

Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune..

Folks that blurt out just what they think wouldn't be so bad if they thought..

In order to live off a garden, you practically have to live in it..

Politics makes strange post-masters..

Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men..

I'm sorry to inform you that your 50 year warranty has expired on your back, knees, and memory. Luckily your lifetime warranty on your heart is still….