One thing I'm grateful for, and also surprised and excited about, is that I have a place in the community of comics now. In a real way. And I honor t….

My monologues aren't always funny. They're generally thoughtful. Sometimes at different levels of aggravation. And sometimes no aggravation. But the ….

They are not testing comics for drugs. If our job is dependent on that, there would be three working comics in the country, and two of them would hav….

Jerusalem Syndrome is actually a rare psychological condition that occurs to some visitors to the Middle East. They get to Israel and just snap..

Everyone is a little bitter. We're born bitter. The personality itself is really just a very complex defense mechanism. A reaction to the first time ….

For my next trick I will make everyone understand me..

I came upon whatever I'm doing organically. I didn't study anything. I don't have any real aspirations other than to connect with somebody, and to ha….

Comics seemed to have a handle on things. They could sort of disarm and get control over reality. I found it very comforting to laugh..

There's something about cats' self-sufficiency and their seemingly individualistic ways that I find compelling..

I've always been someone who likes to talk to people. When I was a little kid, I sought out freaks and weirdos that wandered the streets by where I w….

I believe in God... just in case. It's like there's some list somewhere and you don't want to be on it. I don't want to say THERE'S NO GOD! and then ….

Any comic can get on the radio show and be funny. You can get that on any morning radio show or afternoon radio show. There are plenty of people who ….

Because we're comics and we pass each other on campus, we know of each other, and a lot of the time there's a mutual respect there..

When you commit your life to something and it doesn't work out, it is a tough place to be. Suicide can be the spiritual reprieve of a faithless perso….

Most of my comedy writing happens through improvisation on stage; doing it in the moment. Going up with an idea and fleshing it out over time on stag….

When I was a young kid I loved Don Rickles, Buddy Hackett and Jackie Vernon..

The way I figure it, if you can't tell I'm high by looking at me, I win..

Faith in the face of disappointment is only enhanced by laughter in the face of pain..

You get all excited to give her the ring, and it's real emotional, and you give it to her, and she cries. And a second later, you're like, 'Damn, I c….

Art is supposed to punch you in the brain, and it's supposed to stay punched..

In my life, I didn't get into comedy to be - I had no business model. All I wanted to do was, basically, finish becoming myself. And you stand in fro….