For toddlers I suggest leaving their mittens on year-round, indoors and out. That way they can't get into aspirin bottles, liquor cabinets, or boxes ….

Something is worth what somebody will pay for it. Nothing else, nothing more, nothing less..

In theory, taxes should be like shopping. What I buy is government services. What I pay are my taxes..

How much fame, money and power does a woman have to achieve on her own before you can punch her in the face?.

The good news is that, according to the Obama administration, the rich will pay for everything. The bad news is that, according to the Obama administ….

Bureaucrats want bigger bureaus. Special interests are interested in whatever's special to them. These two groups bring great pressure to bear upon p….

People have a right to my food, a right to my housing, and a right to my good job for my decent pay..

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him w….

The purpose of a funeral service is to comfort the living. It is important at a funeral to display excessive grief. This will show others how kind-he….

So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else available….

Any random group of thirty Vietnamese women will contain a dozen who make Julia Roberts look like Lyle Lovett..

The average IQ in America is—and this can be proven mathematically—average..

Idealism is based on big ideas. And, as anybody who has ever been asked "What's the big idea?" knows, most big ideas are bad ones..

Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope..

There are lots of levels of fear and complaint about the government getting involved in business. First and foremost, of course, is incompetence..

Lampoon was exactly the opposite. The work was a lot of fun, but the office environment was hell. You cannot put 20 humorists together..

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin..

Lust, Pride, Sloth, and Gluttony, or, as we call them these days, "getting in touch with your sexuality," "raising your self-esteem," "relaxation the….

I'm a registered Republican and consider socialism a violation of the American principle that you shouldn't stick your nose in other people's busines….

It doesn't matter how many televisions and computers and pieces of stereo equipment the Chinese send to us, even if they're sending them to us only i….

There are plenty of problems in the world, and doubtless climate change - or whatever the currently voguish phrase for it all is - certainly is one o….