Cockfighting has always been my idea of a great sport -- two armed entrées battling to see who'll be dinner..

Never steal anything so small that you'll have to go to an unpleasant city jail for it instead of a minimum-security federal tennis prison..

When a couple decides to divorce, they should inform both sets of parents before having a party and telling all their friends. This is not only court….

I spent almost 25 years as a foreign correspondent, and the world's primary problem is poverty..

In England, all the English car companies were beginning to circle the drain in a series of well-deserved failures and bankruptcies, earned by making….

In 1970 or '71, early in the magazine, Michael O'Donoghue did maybe eight pages of a 1958 yearbook, from Ezra Taft Benson High School. But by the tim….

It is very hard now to shock people into thinking about government regulation and the extent of government involvement in life..

In the Third World, honk your horn only under the following circumstances: 1. When anything blocks the road. 2. When anything doesn't. 3. When anythi….

I'm a rather decisive type..

Good manners consist of doing precisely what everyone thinks should be done, especially when no one knows quite what that is..

Summing it Up..."Where's a good place for dinner?" I asked. "There's the Brasserie Lipp on the Avenue St. Germaine," she said, "or La Coupole in Mont….

The only time a bachelor's bed is made is when it's in the factory..

Each child is biologically required to have a mother. Fatherhood is a well-regarded theory, but motherhood is a fact..

Vegetables are something God invented to let women get even with their children..

Once we realized that there were these 25 invariable types - the class politician, the frigid popular girl, the kid who tags along behind the jocks -….

Stay away from girls who cry a lot or who look like they get pregnant easily or have careers..

In Japan people drive on the left. In China people drive on the right. In Vietnam it doesn't matter..

There's a certain kind of behavior in the Arab world that, to me, resembles the way young men behave when there is no significant influence from wome….

The key ingredient of politics is the idea that all of society's ills can be cured politically. It's like a cookbook where the recipe for everything ….

Southern California is a nice place, if you could cut out the show-business cancer. It just keeps spreading..

Creative writing teachers should be purged until every last instructor who has uttered the words 'Write what you know' is confined to a labor camp. P….