At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying….

People shouldn't be treated like objects. They aren't that valuable..

Never fight an inanimate object..

If you get outside the world of show business and its satellites, there's a whole world of car nuts in the Los Angeles area..

Long conversations with pals when neither you nor they have had a drink can be a test of palship..

The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose,….

Government conspiracy? They can't even deliver our mail and it's got our address on it and everything!.

One thing talk can't accomplish is communication. This is because everybody's talking too much to pay attention to what anyone is saying.

And worrying is less work than doing something to fix the worry. This is especially true if we're careful to pick the biggest possible problems to wo….

The complexity of economics can be calculated mathematically. Write out the algebraic equation that is the human heart and multiply each unknown by t….

The principal feature of American liberalism is sanctimoniousness. By loudly denouncing all bad things — war and hunger and date rape — liberals test….

I'm certainly not fearful..

A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat..

A politician who commends himself as 'caring' and 'sensitive' because he wants to expand the government's charitable programs is merely saying that h….

I've been a New Yorker for ten years, and the only people who are nice to us turn out to be Moonies..

When I get in deep water, I prefer to announce that I'm in over my head..

El Salvador has the scenery of northern California and the climate of southern California plus - and this was a relief - no Californians..

People who are wise, good, smart, skillful, or hardworking don't need politics, they have jobs..

What would be a road hazard anywhere else, in the Third World is probably the road..

It is easy to understand why the cat has eclipsed the dog as modern America's favorite pet. People like pets to possess the same qualities they do. C….

A nation with a goofy foreign policy needs a very serious policy of defense..