Occupation: Comedian Birth: January 27, 1969
I'm grateful that I had that uphill battle for 10 years of going onstage and having nobody know who I was, because you have to win them over..
I'm still very much an atheist, except that I don't necessarily see religion as being a bad thing. So, that's a weird thing that I'm struggling with ….
As much as I know people love the method and what you can draw out of yourself, a lot of acting is very imaginative..
I have a lot of friends who were stand-ups, and they just stopped after a while, because they didn't like that battle, or they just couldn't do it. A….
Cheap liquor is a magic potion that can turn you into a puppet cowboy before it kills you..
Is it bad when you refer to all alcohol as "Pain Go Bye-Bye Juice"?.
We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We'd have eaten ourselves alive long ago..
There's no destination. There's no getting anywhere. There's just the going. The key to life is to make the going really fun. Because people that are….
Doing 'Young Adult' was really reassuring to me in a lot of ways. It confirmed a lot of suspicions I had about great actors..
I'm going to continue to try to strike a balance, because I really, really do love doing stand-up, and I don't see why it should affect the acting. A….
It’s the method of consumption, not what’s on the plate..
Nowadays - and I don't want to make some dopey cultural statement here - everyone can be, just by existing in society, because we all have a ship tha….
Zombies can't believe the energy we waste on nonfood pursuits..
If I were to just focus on stand-up, I could actually, paradoxically enough, be home way more, because I would leave on a Friday, go do a couple thea….
People will find transformation and transcendence in a McDonald's hash brown if it's all they've got..
I want to experience as many different tastes, sights, emotions, conflicts, and cultures as possible, so that I can expand the canvas of my memory an….
The process is to me is going onstage night after night after night after night until I get a new hour. And then once that hour is solidified and rec….
Growing up there are always those kids who are only happy when they are making someone else upset. That is unfortunately just how some people are. So….
The Kentucky Fried Chicken corporation made a bobble head of me and sent it to my management. No card, nothing..
I've hung out in the writer's room a few times, but the fact is we've got such a good writing staff, I don't want to get my peanut butter fingerprint….
It wasn't until I went to college and met different people from different areas of life - and then went to San Francisco and met people who really kn….