If you actually do cold readings, it's very close to how people actually talk, because you're experiencing these thoughts anew every moment, and tryi….

I'm always trying out new stuff onstage. That's where I do all my writing..

I remember, when 9/11 went down, my reaction was, 'Well, I've had it with humanity.' But I was wrong..

It’s the method of consumption, not what’s on the plate..

The process is to me is going onstage night after night after night after night until I get a new hour. And then once that hour is solidified and rec….

90% of every art form is garbage - dance and stand-up, painting and music. Focus on the 10% that's good, suck it up, and drive on..

The problem is, and I'm just as guilty of this, a lot of people see their follower count increase and mistake that for friendships. It's great to hav….

I love doing movies, but right now, television is the way Hollywood was in the late '60s and early '70s. The dream era I would have loved to have bee….

Every audience is different, even within the same venue. You have to just make every audience your audience; you can't pre-judge an audience based on….

I'm not familiar with the metric system..

The Kentucky Fried Chicken corporation made a bobble head of me and sent it to my management. No card, nothing..

I have a lot of friends who were stand-ups, and they just stopped after a while, because they didn't like that battle, or they just couldn't do it. A….

I hate all sidekicks..

With acting, you see some of the kids are literally just off the street, untrained, and they are great. And others are off the street, untrained, and….

We're rewarding either the reality or the appearance of youth, which is why you have all these people in their fifties trying to act like they're sev….

You can be an amateur and have a passion for something, but it takes a long time to actually become a professional, meaning that you can handle any s….

Beyond any role that I ever had, really early on as a stand-up, I would see actors decide to try it and they would bomb miserably. What I realized wa….

There are times when I have to take, I call it a “silence bath,” where I shut off all of the external gadgets. I go walk around, talk to people, and ….

Even if you're popular, there are times when you just feel like you're not a part of things..

I've had some pretty good arguments with people, but I've never regretted it. I've had people come up where it's all emotion and no fact. That's alwa….

If I were to just focus on stand-up, I could actually, paradoxically enough, be home way more, because I would leave on a Friday, go do a couple thea….