There is probably no moment more appalling than that in which the tongue comes suddenly upon the ragged edge of a space from which the old familiar f….

Breaking the ice in the pitcher seems to be a feature of the early lives of all great men..

One cubic foot less of space and it would have constituted adultery..

There is no doubt that every healthy, normal boy...should own a dog at some time in his life, preferably between the ages of forty-five and fifty..

Nine-tenths of the value of a sense of humor in writing is not in the things it makes one write but in the things it keeps one from writing. It is es….

After an author has been dead for some time, it becomes increasingly difficult for his publishers to get out a new book by him each year..

She sleeps alone at last..

A child of three cannot raise its chubby fist to its mouth to remove a piece of carpet which it is through eating, without being made the subject of ….

Anyone will be glad to admit that he knows nothing about beagling, or the Chinese stock market, or ballistics, but there is not a man or woman alive ….

There are several natural phenomena which I shall have to have explained to me before I can keep on going as a resident member ofthe human race. One ….

England and America should scrap cricket and baseball and come up with a new game that they both can play. Like baseball, for example..

It is one of the most discouraging experiences I have ever had, not forgetting the time when I winked at the Queen Mother in London once..

If you look at eggs, you will see that each one is almost round but not quite ... Nature's way of distinguishing eggs from large golf balls..

Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous..

The wise man thinks once before he speaks twice..

Anyone who tries to keep track of what is happening in China is going to end up by wearing all the skin of his left ear from twirling around on it..

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children..

[Reviewing the New York City Telephone Directory] But it is the opinion of the present reviewer that the weakness of plot is due to the great number ….

But ice-crunching and loud gum-chewing, together with drumming on tables, and whistling the same tune 70 times in succession, because they indicate a….

All laughter is a muscular rigidity spasmodically relieved by involuntary twitching..

One of the easiest forms of pretense to break down is the pretense of enthusiasm for exotic foods. Just bring on the exotic foods..