You know the old adage: Plant an expectation, reap a disappointment.
What if we just acknowledged that we have a bad relationship, and we stuck it out, anyway? What if we admitted that we make each other nuts, we fight constantly and hardly ever have sex, but we can't live without each other, so we deal with it? And then we could spend our lives together - in misery, but happy to not be apart.
Interpretation
What this quote means
The quote reflects on the complexities of a troubled relationship and the acceptance of its hardships while valuing the bond shared.
Elizabeth Gilbert's quote delves into the intricacies of romantic relationships that may not conform to societal expectations of happiness and intimacy. It presents a candid acknowledgment of conflict, dissatisfaction, and the struggles couples face, yet underscores the profound connection that can persist despite these challenges. By suggesting that enduring love may also encompass misery, Gilbert invites reflection on the true nature of commitment and companionship, emphasizing that not all love is perfect, but it can still be fulfilling.
Themes
In practice
Example use cases
This quote can be used in a couples therapy session to discuss acceptance in relationships.
More from Elizabeth Gilbert
All quotes →Do not apologize for crying. Without this emotion, we are only robots.
I had always been taught that the pursuit of happiness was my natural (even national) birthright. It is the emotional trademark of my culture to seek happiness. Not just any kind of happiness, either, but profound happiness, even soaring happiness. And what could possibly bring a person more soaring happiness than romantic love.
When I tried this morning, after an hour or so of unhappy thinking, to dip back into my meditation, I took a new idea with me: compassion. I asked my heart if it could please infuse my soul with a more generous perspective on my mind's workings. Instead of thinking that I was a failure, could I perhaps accept that I am only a human being--and a normal one, at that?
And when you sense a faint potentiality for happiness after such dark times you must grab onto the ankles of that happiness and not let go until it drags you face-first out of the dirt - this is not selfishness, but obligation. You were given life; it is your duty to find something beautiful within life no matter how slight.
But never again use another person's body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilling yearnings.
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