Labeling and diagnosis is a catastrophic way to communicate. Telling other people what's wrong with them greatly reduces, almost to zero, the probability that we're going to get what we're after.
Marshall B. RosenbergRead
Interpretations, criticisms, diagnoses, and judgments of others are actually alienated expressions of our unmet needs.
Interpretation
What this quote means
Our judgments of others reflect our own unfulfilled desires and emotions.
This quote by Marshall B. Rosenberg emphasizes that the way we interpret and criticize others often reveals more about our own internal struggles and unmet needs than it does about the other person. When we judge others, we may project our own feelings and desires onto them, indicating that we might be addressing our own emotional deficiencies rather than objectively assessing their behavior.
Themes
JudgmentNeedsProjectionCriticismRelationships
In practice
Example use cases
In a discussion about interpersonal relationships, I might say, 'Remember, interpretations and judgments of others often stem from our own unmet needs.'
More from Marshall B. Rosenberg
All quotes βWhether I praise or criticize someone's action, I imply that I am their judge, that I'm engaged in rating them or what they have done.
Marshall B. RosenbergRead
In nonviolent communication, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests. Then we may wish to reflect back, paraphrasing what we have understood. We stay with empathy, allowing others the opportunity to fully express themselves before we turn our attention to solutions or requests for relief.
Marshall B. RosenbergRead
All that has been integrated into NVC has been known for centuries about consciousness, language, communication skills, and use of power that enable us to maintain a perspective of empathy for ourselves and others, even under trying conditions.
Marshall B. RosenbergRead
The punitive use of force tends to generate hostility and to reinforce resistance to the very behavior we are seeking.
Marshall B. RosenbergRead
Expressing our vulnerability can help resolve conflicts.
Marshall B. RosenbergRead
Similar quotes
Psychoanalysis is a terribly efficient instrument, and because it is more and more a prestigious instrument, we run the risk of using it with a purpose for which it was not made for, and in this way we may degrade it.
Jacques LacanRead
Traumatized people chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies: The past is alive in the form of gnawing interior discomfort. Their bodies are constantly bombarded by visceral warning signs, and, in an attempt to control these processes, they often become expert at ignoring their gut feelings and in numbing awareness of what is played out inside. They learn to hide from their selves.
Bessel Van Der KolkRead
The fact is that people are good, Give people affection and security, and they will give affection and be secure in their feelings and their behavior.
Abraham MaslowRead
People don't just get upset. They contribute to their upsetness.
Albert EllisRead
I think one of the major results of the psychology of decision making is that people's attitudes and feelings about losses and gains are really not symmetric. So we really feel more pain when we lose $10,000 than we feel pleasure when we get $10,000.
Daniel KahnemanRead
We know that the great majority of people have a strong need for authority which it can admire, to which it can submit, and which dominates and sometimes even ill-treats it.
Sigmund FreudRead