Labeling and diagnosis is a catastrophic way to communicate. Telling other people what's wrong with them greatly reduces, almost to zero, the probability that we're going to get what we're after.
Marshall B. RosenbergRead
In nonviolent communication, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests. Then we may wish to reflect back, paraphrasing what we have understood. We stay with empathy, allowing others the opportunity to fully express themselves before we turn our attention to solutions or requests for relief.
Interpretation
What this quote means
Effective communication is about listening with empathy rather than jumping to solutions.
This quote by Marshall B. Rosenberg emphasizes the importance of nonviolent communication, which prioritizes understanding and empathy in interactions. It suggests that rather than immediately responding with solutions, we should first listen deeply to others’ observations, feelings, needs, and requests, and reflect back our understanding. This approach fosters a more compassionate dialogue and allows individuals to feel heard and validated before moving on to problem-solving.
Themes
CommunicationEmpathyListeningUnderstandingNonviolent
In practice
Example use cases
While facilitating a workshop on conflict resolution, one might use this quote to illustrate the importance of listening in communication.
More from Marshall B. Rosenberg
All quotes →Whether I praise or criticize someone's action, I imply that I am their judge, that I'm engaged in rating them or what they have done.
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All that has been integrated into NVC has been known for centuries about consciousness, language, communication skills, and use of power that enable us to maintain a perspective of empathy for ourselves and others, even under trying conditions.
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The punitive use of force tends to generate hostility and to reinforce resistance to the very behavior we are seeking.
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Expressing our vulnerability can help resolve conflicts.
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You can't make your kids do anything. All you can do is make them wish they had. And then, they will make you wish you hadn't made them wish they had.
Marshall B. RosenbergRead
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I passionately believe that's it's not just what you say that counts, it's also how you say it - that the success of your argument critically depends on your manner of presenting it.
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Evil communication corrupts good manners. I hope to live to hear that good communication corrects bad manners.
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