Labeling and diagnosis is a catastrophic way to communicate. Telling other people what's wrong with them greatly reduces, almost to zero, the probability that we're going to get what we're after.
Marshall B. RosenbergRead
You can't make your kids do anything. All you can do is make them wish they had. And then, they will make you wish you hadn't made them wish they had.
Interpretation
What this quote means
Parents cannot force their children to act in a certain way; instead, they can instill a desire for positive actions.
This quote suggests that parental influence is more about inspiring children to want to make good choices rather than directly commanding them to do so. It highlights the complexities of parent-child relationships, where a parent's approach can lead to unintended consequences, often resulting in regret or challenge for both parties.
Themes
ParentsChildrenInfluenceDesireChoices
In practice
Example use cases
A parenting seminar discussing effective ways to motivate children.
More from Marshall B. Rosenberg
All quotes →Whether I praise or criticize someone's action, I imply that I am their judge, that I'm engaged in rating them or what they have done.
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In nonviolent communication, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests. Then we may wish to reflect back, paraphrasing what we have understood. We stay with empathy, allowing others the opportunity to fully express themselves before we turn our attention to solutions or requests for relief.
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All that has been integrated into NVC has been known for centuries about consciousness, language, communication skills, and use of power that enable us to maintain a perspective of empathy for ourselves and others, even under trying conditions.
Marshall B. RosenbergRead
The punitive use of force tends to generate hostility and to reinforce resistance to the very behavior we are seeking.
Marshall B. RosenbergRead
Expressing our vulnerability can help resolve conflicts.
Marshall B. RosenbergRead
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