Labeling and diagnosis is a catastrophic way to communicate. Telling other people what's wrong with them greatly reduces, almost to zero, the probability that we're going to get what we're after.
Marshall B. RosenbergRead
Keep in mind that other people's actions can never 'make' you feel any certain way. Feelings are your warning indicators.
Interpretation
Our feelings are a reflection of our own perceptions rather than someone else's actions.
In this quote, Marshall B. Rosenberg emphasizes the importance of recognizing that our emotional responses are not solely determined by the actions of others. Instead, they serve as indicators that inform us about our thoughts, values, and unmet needs. By understanding this principle, we can take responsibility for our own feelings and responses, leading to healthier interactions and communication with others.
In practice
During a workshop on emotional intelligence, this quote could be used to illustrate how to manage our reactions.
Labeling and diagnosis is a catastrophic way to communicate. Telling other people what's wrong with them greatly reduces, almost to zero, the probability that we're going to get what we're after.
Whether I praise or criticize someone's action, I imply that I am their judge, that I'm engaged in rating them or what they have done.
In nonviolent communication, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests. Then we may wish to reflect back, paraphrasing what we have understood. We stay with empathy, allowing others the opportunity to fully express themselves before we turn our attention to solutions or requests for relief.
All that has been integrated into NVC has been known for centuries about consciousness, language, communication skills, and use of power that enable us to maintain a perspective of empathy for ourselves and others, even under trying conditions.
The punitive use of force tends to generate hostility and to reinforce resistance to the very behavior we are seeking.
Expressing our vulnerability can help resolve conflicts.
My faith helps me overcome such negative emotions and find my equilibrium.
Danger lurks when people are dissociated and detached from their own story or feelings.
To transform the world, we must begin with ourselves; and what is important in beginning with ourselves is the intention. The intention must be to understand ourselves and not to leave it to others to transform themselves or to bring about a modified change through revolution, either of the left or of the right. It is important to understand that this is our responsibility, yours and mine.
A wild longing for strong emotions and sensations seethes in me, a rage against this toneless, flat, normal and sterile life. I have a mad impulse to smash something, a warehouse perhaps, or a cathedral, or myself, to committ outrages.
Only you can take responsibility for your happiness..but you can't do it alone. It's the great paradox of being human.
In today's highly interdependent world, individuals and nations can no longer resolve many of their problems by themselves. We need one another. It is our collective and individual responsibility to protect and nurture the global family, to support its weaker members, and to preserve and tend to the environment in which we all live.
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