Labeling and diagnosis is a catastrophic way to communicate. Telling other people what's wrong with them greatly reduces, almost to zero, the probability that we're going to get what we're after.
Marshall B. RosenbergRead
Nonviolent Communication shows us a way of being very honest, but without any criticism, without any insults, without any put-downs, without any intellectual diagnosis implying wrongness.
Interpretation
Nonviolent Communication promotes honest expression without criticism or insults.
This quote by Marshall B. Rosenberg emphasizes the importance of expressing oneself honestly while maintaining respect and empathy in communication. It advocates for a way of sharing feelings and needs that avoids punitive language and fosters understanding, highlighting the power of compassion in human interactions.
In practice
In a workshop on effective communication, a speaker quotes this to inspire participants to engage without blame.
Labeling and diagnosis is a catastrophic way to communicate. Telling other people what's wrong with them greatly reduces, almost to zero, the probability that we're going to get what we're after.
Whether I praise or criticize someone's action, I imply that I am their judge, that I'm engaged in rating them or what they have done.
In nonviolent communication, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests. Then we may wish to reflect back, paraphrasing what we have understood. We stay with empathy, allowing others the opportunity to fully express themselves before we turn our attention to solutions or requests for relief.
All that has been integrated into NVC has been known for centuries about consciousness, language, communication skills, and use of power that enable us to maintain a perspective of empathy for ourselves and others, even under trying conditions.
The punitive use of force tends to generate hostility and to reinforce resistance to the very behavior we are seeking.
Expressing our vulnerability can help resolve conflicts.
Language is an inadequate form of communication. If you've picked up an instrument, it's because you don't feel you are communicating sufficiently.
A talk is a voyage. It must be charted. The speaker who starts nowhere, usually gets there.
Whenever you speak to someone, you are presuming the two of you have a certain degree of familiarity - which your words might alter. So every sentence has to do two things at once: convey a message and continue to negotiate that relationship.
And it occurred to me that in this new millennial life of instant and ubiquitous connection, you don't in fact communicate so much as leave messages for one another, these odd improvisational performances, often sorry bits and samplings of ourselves that can't help but seem out of context. And then when you do finally reach someone, everyone's so out of practice or too hopeful or else embittered that you wonder if it would be better not to attempt contact at all.
I speak and speak, [...] but the listener retains only the words he is expecting. [...] It is not the voice that commands the story: it is the ear.
Speak properly, and in as few words as you can, but always plainly; for the end of speech is not ostentation, but to be understood.
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