Labeling and diagnosis is a catastrophic way to communicate. Telling other people what's wrong with them greatly reduces, almost to zero, the probability that we're going to get what we're after.
Marshall B. RosenbergRead
NVC self-forgiveness: connecting with the need we were trying to meet when we took the action that we now regret.
Interpretation
Self-forgiveness involves understanding the unmet needs behind our regrets.
This quote emphasizes the importance of self-forgiveness, highlighting that in order to forgive ourselves for past actions, we must connect with the underlying needs that prompted those actions. By recognizing what we were trying to achieve or fulfill, we can cultivate compassion towards ourselves and learn from our experiences instead of being burdened by them.
In practice
During a workshop on emotional well-being, this quote can be used to illustrate the importance of self-compassion.
Labeling and diagnosis is a catastrophic way to communicate. Telling other people what's wrong with them greatly reduces, almost to zero, the probability that we're going to get what we're after.
Whether I praise or criticize someone's action, I imply that I am their judge, that I'm engaged in rating them or what they have done.
In nonviolent communication, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests. Then we may wish to reflect back, paraphrasing what we have understood. We stay with empathy, allowing others the opportunity to fully express themselves before we turn our attention to solutions or requests for relief.
All that has been integrated into NVC has been known for centuries about consciousness, language, communication skills, and use of power that enable us to maintain a perspective of empathy for ourselves and others, even under trying conditions.
The punitive use of force tends to generate hostility and to reinforce resistance to the very behavior we are seeking.
Expressing our vulnerability can help resolve conflicts.
If we are all alive ten years hence, let's meet, and see how many of us have got our wishes, or how much nearer we are then than now.
When thoughts do not neutralize an undesirable emotion, action will.
Both formerly and now, it is only suffering that I describe, and the cessation of suffering.
In building a path through the self to the far shore of awareness, we have to carefully pick our way through our own wilderness. If we can put our minds into a place of surrender, we will have an easier time feeling the contours of the land. We do not have to break our way through as much as we have to find our way around the major obstacles. We do not have to cure every neurosis, we just have to learn how not to be caught by them.
The ability to focus attention on important things is a defining characteristic of intelligence.
The biggest misconception about work is that you need to spend the majority of your time doing it.
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