Eating is always a decision, nobody forces your hand to pick up food and put it into your mouth.
People don't just get upset. They contribute to their upsetness. They always have the power to think, and to think about their thinking, and to think about thinking about their thinking, which the goddamn dolphin, as far as we know, can't do. Therefore they have much greater ability to change themselves than any other animal has, and I hope that REBT teaches them how to do it.
Interpretation
What this quote means
Individuals play a role in their own emotional responses and have the power to change their thoughts.
This quote emphasizes the idea that human beings have a unique capacity for self-reflection and self-regulation that other animals do not possess. Albert Ellis points out that people are not merely passive victims of their emotions but active participants who can influence their feelings through their thinking processes. This awareness allows individuals to take control of their emotional well-being and encourages the practice of rational emotive behavioral therapy (REBT) to facilitate personal change and growth.
Themes
In practice
Example use cases
During a mental health seminar, this quote could be used to illustrate the importance of personal agency in emotional well-being.
More from Albert Ellis
All quotes →Religious creeds encourage some of the craziest kinds of thoughts, emotions, and behaviors and favor severe manifestations of neurosis, borderline personality states, and sometimes even psychosis.
I had used eclectic therapy and behavior therapy on myself at the age of 19 to get over my fear of public speaking and of approaching young women in public.
If you would stop, really stop, damning yourself, others, and unkind conditions, you would find it almost impossible to upset yourself emotionally - about anything. Yes, anything.
The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.
Attempts to help humans eliminate all self-ratings and views self-esteem as a self-defeating concept that encourages them to make conditional evaluations of self. Instead, it teaches people unconditional self-acceptance.
Similar quotes
Self-pity, a dominant characteristic of sociopaths, is also the characteristic that differentiates heroic storytelling from psychological rumination. When you talk about your experiences to shed light, you may feel wrenching pain, grief, anger, or shame. Your audience may pity you, but not because you want them to.
Time perspective is one of the most powerful influences on all of human behavior. We're trying to show how people become biased to being exclusively past-, present- or future-oriented.
Psychologists and economists love to talk about the notion of two selves: present self and future self. It's a nice way to explain the tendency to have one preference about the future, but a very different preference when the future becomes the present.
Language and words for psychopaths are only word deep; there is no emotional colouring behind it. A psychopath can use a word like, ‘I love you’ but it means nothing more to him than if he said, ‘I’ll have a cup of coffee.
But behavior in the human being is sometimes a defense, a way of concealing motives and thoughts, as language can be a way of hiding your thoughts and preventing communication.
I'm all for 'tools,' not 'schools,' of therapy. To me, the schools of therapy compete much like religions, or even cults, all claiming to know the cause and to have the best method for treating people.