The only possible recourse a baby has when his screams are ignored is to repress his distress, which is tantamount to mutilating his soul, for the result is an interference with his ability to feel, to be aware, and to remember.
The abused child goes on living within those who have survived such torture, a torture that ended with total repression. They live with the darkness of fear, oppression, and threats. When all its attempts to move the adult to heed its story have failed, it resorts to the language of symptoms to make itself heard. Enter addiction, psychosis, criminality.
Interpretation
What this quote means
The quote highlights how abused children carry their trauma into adulthood, often manifesting in various psychological issues.
Alice Miller's quote emphasizes the profound impact of childhood abuse on an individual's life. She suggests that even after the abuse ends, the emotional scars remain, leading to struggles with fear and repression in adulthood. The child's attempts to express their pain can transform into behavioral symptoms such as addiction, mental illness, or criminal behavior, which serve as cries for help that often go unheard.
Themes
In practice
Example use cases
In a support group for survivors of abuse, one might share this quote to highlight the lasting effects of childhood trauma.
More from Alice Miller
All quotes βThe truth about childhood, as many of us have had to endure it, is inconceivable, scandalous, painful. Not uncommonly, it is monstrous. Invariably, it is repressed. To be confronted with this truth all at once and to try to integrate it into our consciousness, however ardently we may wish it, is clearly impossible.
We don't yet know, above all, what the world might be like if children were to grow up without being subjected to humiliation, if parents would respect them and take them seriously as people.
I have never known a patient to portray his parents more negatively than he actually experienced them in childhood but always more positively--because idealization of his parents was essential for his survival.
It is not true that evil, destructiveness , and perversion inevitably form part of human existence, no matter how often this is maintained. But it is true that we are daily producing more evil and, with it, an ocean of suffering for millions that is absolutely avoidable. When one day the ignorance arising from childhood repression is eliminated and humanity has awakened, an end can be put to this production of evil.
Genuine forgiveness does not deny anger but faces it head-on.
Similar quotes
Even when adults do feel their safety to be threatened, we may not be able to see this on the surface. Infants will react in a fashion as if they were endangered, if they are disturbed or dropped suddenly, startled by loud noises, flashing light
Last time I talked to her she didn't sound like herself. She's depressed. It's awful what happens when people run out of money. They start thinking they're no good.
The only thing that disturbs me is that many psychopaths say they had a very happy childhood.
There is zero correlation between IQ and emotional empathy... They're controlled by different parts of the brain.
This is one race of people for whom psychoanalysis is of no use whatsoever.
There is no fun in psychiatry. If you try to get fun out of it, you pay a considerable price for your unjustifiable optimism.