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We teach people that they upset themselves. We can't change the past, so we change how people are thinking, feeling and behaving today.
Albert Ellis
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Interpretation

What this quote means

The quote emphasizes the importance of changing our thoughts and feelings rather than trying to alter past events.

Albert Ellis suggests that while we cannot go back and change our past experiences, we have the power to influence our present mindset and behavior. This notion highlights the significance of cognitive behavioral approaches in helping individuals recognize that their emotional distress often stems from their own thought processes rather than external factors. By teaching people to adjust their thinking, they can improve their current emotional state and overall behavior.

Themes

ChangeThoughtsFeelingsBehaviorMindset

In practice

Example use cases

In a mental health seminar discussing the importance of cognitive reframing.

More from Albert Ellis

Eating is always a decision, nobody forces your hand to pick up food and put it into your mouth.
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Religious creeds encourage some of the craziest kinds of thoughts, emotions, and behaviors and favor severe manifestations of neurosis, borderline personality states, and sometimes even psychosis.
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I had used eclectic therapy and behavior therapy on myself at the age of 19 to get over my fear of public speaking and of approaching young women in public.
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If you would stop, really stop, damning yourself, others, and unkind conditions, you would find it almost impossible to upset yourself emotionally - about anything. Yes, anything.
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The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.
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Attempts to help humans eliminate all self-ratings and views self-esteem as a self-defeating concept that encourages them to make conditional evaluations of self. Instead, it teaches people unconditional self-acceptance.
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