When we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable, we feel used and mistreated. This is why we sometimes attack who they are, which is far more hurtful than addressing a behavior or a choice.
Bren BrownRead
We live in a world where most people still subscribe to the belief that shame is a good tool for keeping people in line. Not only is this wrong, but it’s dangerous. Shame is highly correlated with addiction, violence, aggression, depression, eating disorders, and bullying.
Interpretation
Shame is a harmful tool used to control behavior, leading to negative consequences.
In this quote, Brené Brown emphasizes the detrimental effects of using shame as a means of social control. She points out that rather than promoting positive behavior, shame often correlates with various social issues such as addiction and violence, suggesting that relying on shame to manage behavior can result in far-reaching psychological harm.
In practice
In a speech about mental health awareness, you might use this quote to discuss the importance of compassion over shame.
When we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable, we feel used and mistreated. This is why we sometimes attack who they are, which is far more hurtful than addressing a behavior or a choice.
Perfectionism is a twenty-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it's the thing that's really preventing us from taking flight.
Social media has given us this idea that we should all have a posse of friends when in reality, if we have one or two really good friends, we are lucky.
What we know matters but who we are matters more.
Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we're supposed to be and embracing who we are.
Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change.
Wherever an inferiority complex exists, there is a good reason for it.
I have never known a patient to portray his parents more negatively than he actually experienced them in childhood but always more positively--because idealization of his parents was essential for his survival.
I think a lot of creative people are uncomfortable with therapy. Because you're basically trying to 'solve' the unconscious. And the unconscious is where it all comes from.
Groups tend to be more extreme than individuals.
People's behavior makes sense if you think about it in terms of their goals, needs, and motives.
Psychoanalysis is often about turning our ghosts into ancestors, even for patients who have not lost loved ones to death. We are often haunted by important relationships from the past that influence us unconsciously in the present. As we work them through, they go from haunting us to becoming simply part of our history. (243)
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