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Rather than giving people an inflated view of themselves, we need to give them concrete reasons to feel good about themselves.
Martin Seligman
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Interpretation

What this quote means

We should focus on providing people with genuine affirmations instead of unrealistic compliments.

In this quote, Martin Seligman emphasizes the importance of providing individuals with realistic and concrete feedback that fosters self-esteem. Instead of inflating someone's ego with empty praise, true support should come from highlighting specific achievements and strengths, helping them develop a more authentic sense of self-worth.

Themes

Self-EsteemFeedbackAuthenticitySupportPsychology

In practice

Example use cases

This quote could be shared in a workshop focused on mental health and self-improvement.

More from Martin Seligman

I'm trying to broaden the scope of positive psychology well beyond the smiley face. Happiness is just one-fifth of what human beings choose to do.
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One of my worries about America is the epidemic of depression we've been in. One of the possibilities about that is that the 'I' gets bigger and bigger, and the 'we' gets smaller and smaller.
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The dirty little secret of both clinical psychology and biological psychiatry is that they have completely given up on the notion of cure.
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The belief that we can rely on shortcuts to happiness, joy, rapture, comfort, and ecstasy, rather than be entitled to these feelings by the exercise of personal strengths and virtues, leads to legions of people who, in the middle of great wealth, are starving spiritually.
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I believe psychology has done very well in working out how to understand and treat disease. But I think that is literally half-baked. If all you do is work to fix problems, to alleviate suffering, then by definition you are working to get people to zero, to neutral.
Martin SeligmanRead
The good life is using your signature strengths every day to produce authentic happiness and abundant gratification.
Martin SeligmanRead

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